September 2: Anarchist Theory and PizzaGate, No Not That One

Originally tweeted by Laura Jedeed (Misanthrophile) (@1misanthrophile) on September 2nd, 2020

Hi there, I’m at Woodstock Park with a small but growing group of protesters. Let’s see what tonight has in store #PortlandProtest#PortlandRiots#PDXprotests#BlackLivesMatter#PoliceViolence#ACAB

A debate about tonight’s action ensues. It’s unclear what’s going to happen tonight, and I’ll refrain from commenting until the protest figures it out and does it

Ok one comment: seems like decisions aren’t going super smoothly tonight. Someone is very committed to a specific option that’s proving unpopular. Fast horizontal decision-making ultimately requires total buy-in.

A helicopter drones overhead

A very clear consensus emerges. Two people from the Portland Protest Bureau do everything in their power to overturn this consensus. “The people of color are going to _____!!”

I’m not sure the only people of color here are the ones involved with the Portland Protest Bureau

People still arguing. I’ve noticed that the Portland Protest Bureau tends to assert itself when the national eye is on us and there’s a lot of pressure on officials to get things under control

It’s just an observation.

“We’ve made a decision! We’re going to [non-consensus location]! If you don’t want to go, you don’t have to! We’re anarchists, were autonomous!!”

I’m sorry, I laughed for like 2 minutes, really loud, please forgive me.

This is a shit show

“Hello well-intentioned anarchists! Sometimes part of direct action is being flexible about your plans! And that’s 99% of the time! We cannot get a consensus right now with so many people. If you don’t want to go, go home!”

I would like to reiterate that a consensus WAS reached

Let’s spend the evening reading basic anarchist theory, maybe that’s what we should do I am excruciatingly ill-informed on theory and even I know this is ridiculous

The journalists discuss what to do. Here are our ideas:

• press-only rally at Kate Brown’s house where we chant our questions
• Drink in the park
• Be petty and refuse to go cuz we think it’s silly

Unfortunately, as we learned earlier, consensus is impossible

The new plan is for me to tweet that I heard the protest is going to a bar and that everyone should go there and then we’ll be at a bar and no one will ever know I influenced events oh shit I fucked this up didn’t I

The location of the bar will be decided by consensus by the one anarchist here

Wow this is just a shitpost thread now I’m so sorry

Ok. So basically the crowd has split. A lot of people have left for home. Others have left for Alberta Park. Most people are still here, chilling and bitching. The night has fallen apart completely

Update: the press corp has decided to order pizza and chill in this park, yes really

UPDATE: CAVIAR HAS JUST CANCELLED OUR ORDER this is war

After much thought, we have decided to attempt to actually do our jobs. I am now approaching the North Precinct, where chants of ACAB are already reaching my ears.

Between 100 and 150 people. Not a lot of bloc, not a lot of shields. Lot of well-meaning people without armor chanting at the police

Three silent squad cars shine lights on the protest

A line of individuals holding what I’m going to describe as symbolic shields lines up at the property line

Riot cops relax at the back of North precinct

The person on the megaphone is talking about how they already defunded one of the Portland Police officers and I’m not sure what that means but good on them

At long last someone has fed me and that someone is 7/11. Oh thank heaven. Does anyone remember that ad campaign? It was a more religious time

I regret to report that these mochis are terrible Oh, were you hoping for protest reporting? That’s very selfish but if you must know things are about the same out here. A speaker plays soul music. Crowd dwindled to maybe 75 Chant: “Fuck Ted Wheeler; Fuck Kate Brown!”

@hungrybowtie figures out the mystery of why it was so goddamn important to go to Alberta. How awkward would it have been if they’d lost control of the protest they claim to lead?

The speaker is playing Freedom! by George Michael and I guess that’s fine

No one asked but I could play any song over protest radio it would be this one

This is why no one lets me play songs over protest radio

(I do have the entire song memorized in case I ever get arrested so I can sing it to the cops)

And out of FUCKING NOWHERE, the LRAD reminds everyone that the road they’re hanging out on is closed and anyone who sets foot on it will be subject to crowd control munitions etc

This is the world’s lamest block party and they’re still trying to cause problems

The music’s off and all attention is now focused on PPB. Someone throws an empty water bottle

That’s the kind of night it is. Not even a half-empty bottle. An empty one

(Don’t worry, sympathizers: it didn’t hit anyone)

OMG whoever is playing “Nemesis” by VNV Nation right now, I’m going to cry

I WANT JUSTICE FOR THE VOICE THAT CAN’T BE HEARD

VINDICATION FOR EVERY SUFFERING AND HURT

LET RETRIBUTION HOLD DOMINION OVER EARTH

BECAUSE JUDGEMENT DAY’S NOT COMING SOON ENOUGH

In other news, now that their interview is complete, the Portland Protest Bureau has left the approximately 50 remaining protesters to face down the police alone

DJ LRAD has been silent since his little announcement earlier

I’m home. It seems to me things are officially fizzling out

What a strange lull these past couple days have been. No medium days any longer. Silly clusterfuck or horrific brutality: nothing in between

Solidarity to everyone still out there